Am I?

Late November, my big toe started to hurt but I felt foolish going to the doctor for a sore toe but the next day it was swollen and twice as painful. So I hobbled to the medical centre. He looked at me and said “you are too young for gout” and sent me off for blood tests and xrays.

The following day I went to get results. He looked a bit sheepish. I do love proving people wrong even if I’m the one to suffer for it. This is the 4th time I’ve been told I’m too young for one of my conditions. As soon as he said the sentence he jinxed me.

So, Gout it is. Life long meds and another notch on my medical belt.

I’d have a bigger pity party but I just had my 5th blood draw for my Iron Storage Disease, which I am too young for. My results from last blood draw weren’t great because I had just had a colonoscopy a week beforehand; because they were looking for more giant serrated polyps, which I am too young for and yet had at least 10 removed a few years ago.

I finally came home to pass out on my new bed; which I bought for my bad back – extra vertebrae and severe disc degeneration (yep, too young to have that too)

I think I deserve a pity party. I’m not too young for depression, am I?

In a few months I go back to the liver specialist. I expect he will say my liver is 64 and I’m too young to have it.

I may be too young for my illnesses but I have them and they are killing me, mentally and psychically. While my brain is still young I’m gonna save as many lives as I can before I go. One semicolon at a time.

2 thoughts on “Am I?

  1. When I was 22 years old, something was wrong. I didn’t feel right. My head, heart, body; everything hurt! I had a great marriage, a wonderful 2 year old. I must be crazy! I had everything! I went to a mental health clinic to see what it was. They tested, asked questions. They asked if something was wrong in my marriage. “No! It’s me!,” I said. They prescribed Elavil; I went home. I was sleepy, so I stopped the pills. Why did I feel weird when my husband talked to some women? I was ashamed to think something was going on! I became more depressed. Later, I had a miscarriage, & found my husband “was” seeing women! We divorced; I worked, miscarriage, career, marriage, new husband, then he’s “seeing “ women! AGAIN?!! Depression. Divorced, depression, medications, miscarriage, careers, then no medications, injuries, medications, surgeries more medications. I have been depressed on and off for 44 years, as disheartening things continued to plague my life. My body pains increased as more injuries occurred. Social services helped. Surgeries regularly, chronic pain, losses, depression, medications, social services, procedures, losses,depression, preventive measures, out of money, social services, losses, depression, more medications, disability and assistance, appliances, surgeries, losses, social services, chronic pain, injuries, permanent disability, medications, appliances, depression, retirement, social services, severe pain, different medications. Now, the pain is so severe, I need both knees replaced; 50 year high school reunion, can’t walk, anxiety, so I’m waiting for another surgery, severe pain, anxiety;;;;;;;Need I say more?!; This is not a joke! I am okay! I have survived. My Story Has Not Ended! I Am…

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