I get stuff and can’t let go; I’m a hoarder. But not possessions, I collect memories and emotional baggage.
I have mean comments still floating in my head from primary school, in a loop.
Scars from the horrid things bullies would say and do in high school.
I still feel the pain of everyone that has walked away from me because of my illness.
My heart aches when I think about friends who have left without a word, not even a goodbye because I was ‘too crazy’, ‘too much’, ‘too attached’ or for some other dark reason I make up in my head because they never told me why they left.
Years later I still carry that baggage with me and I still hoard the emotions.
People may physically leave me, but emotionally they are in my BiPolar brain along with all the mean comments ever said to me….. psychological warfare.
How hard is it to say goodbye?